How are you all feeling about the upcoming anniversary of Jan 6? We plan to release something useful and helpful for folks thinking about/planning to leave the US, because I think it will be a day that people need hope and focus. But for today, I wanted to share with you all the story that was one of several turning points for us in deciding to move. https://substack.com/@elizabethsillecklarue/note/c-84228329
The Substack algorithm served your piece up to me, and I gobbled it right up, subscribed right away. I have lived in Ecuador and Colombia with my wife (who is Colombian), and thank goodness those two countries are still off the beaten vacation path of the Ugly American Touron. Tourons were hardly ever encountered during my day-to-day there because the city where we own a modest apartment is smallish and nothing particularly unique or special apart from the fact that it is 100% Colombian surrounded by beautiful mountains, deep forest, and the best coffee in the world. And I love that it’s my secret along with the 300,000 parceros who live there.
If I were to self-judge, I feel like I followed your list pretty well: I speak Spanish (523-day streak on Duolingo!), I tip well (can always tip more!), I chat with and get to know my neighbors and shopkeepers, read the signs, etc.
Because I was raised in Arizona, we frequently traveled to Mexico, and wooo-boy, there were some rowdy, entitled, and obnoxious gringos vacationing there. I may have learned unconsciously from a young age to not be an ass while in someone else’s house/country. It’s served me well in my years abroad.
Thanks so much for reading, restacking and subscribing! It sounds like you are doing great. It seems to me everyone would be happier and healthier if they were willing to approach new environments with humility, civility, cooperation, courtesy. It's appalling to see people go out of their way to do the exact opposite. Especially here, where the culture is one of politeness (a smile and "buenos días" is almost universally customary here) and patience. Everyone is prone to bad days, of course, and there are jerks everywhere, but this is a pattern that can't be ignored.
“Touron” - thank you for adding a new slang term to my dictionary! Had to look it up, but it’s a great description of some people that I’ve met on my travels.
Yeesh. I aspire to be the opposite. She’s an evangelical Karen Karen-ing where she and her Kevin have no right to do so. Elizabeth, stories like this make me cringe so deeply inside, and I know that I am the choir who reads your writing, but I wish that the Karens and Kevins of the world can just watch the sun set over the horizon with their beverage in hand, and just feel grateful for the sunset and their beverage. That is my wish for the rottenness exhibited by la estadounidense in the piece.
These same principles can be useful applied to a simple holiday in Hawaii. Because Hawaiians have their own culture.
Example: Asking for directions.
Native Hawaiians do not participate in the covert understanding that "you and I have no connection, but a brief sentence about directions is all that is necessary between us." To ask efficiently and directly, like they are a Google search, is to treat them like a vending machine. It causes immediate offence, and they may not want to talk to you at all.
Instead try this:
1. "Aloha"... pause, and wait for them to respond "Aloha"... now you have respected the being within them, they are becoming available.
2. "May I ask you a question / for directions?" ... pause... wait for them to say "yes, sure".
3. Now the help window is open, and they will gladly help you. Feels nice.
Yes, for some people it is. And we all have our bad days. I am not without sympathy about people being frustrated with bureaucracy, discomfort, etc. But that is different than just full out entitled and abusive. And it's definitely different than going out of your way to be intentionally hostile to people minding their own business.
Having spent a lot of time in Costa Rica, I feel this post in my bones. Now that I live in Ireland, even today I wanted to post in a Facebook group for expats in Ireland: THEIR COUNTRY, THEIR RULES.
Alas, I can. I wrote this bit from Prozac Monologues in 2006, after a week in Costa Rica:
The person who sold the golf carts did tell the buyers the carts are not street legal. But I heard the Americans down at the El Bohio puffing indignant because the police confiscated a cart parked in front of the El Bohio and impounded it at the police station across the street where the Americans could see it and drink more beer and get mad all over again. They say the government will have to change the law to make the golf carts street legal, because there are so many of them.
Notice the logic, “There are so many of them.” So many illegal golf carts the government will have to make them legal? That’s not the way it works in America.
No, “so many of them” must refer to the Americans, not the golf carts. Once you get “so many” Americans in a place, in particular white middle-class Americans who are not used to being the targets of law enforcement, not that anybody besides white middle-class Americans is breaking this particular law, everybody else, even the citizens of the country concerned, will simply have to change to suit the Americans’ desires.
Yep. It's perverse logic. This may seem like a total tangent, but not really. I used to work in fisheries conservation. Federal fisheries laws in the US are largely under the Dept of Commerce (rather than USFWS) which tells you something right there. But the point that really baffled me when I started was that basically, historical overfishing was and is actually rewarded in this way. For example, when "allocating" portions of fish to individual operations, the historical catch became the threshold for what they would get going forward. In other words, the most harmful actors were entitled to more extraction, even when designing systems and regulations meant to reduce the overfishing. The epitome of "ask for forgiveness, not permission."
The point being, this backwards logic exists within some US "property rights" - take it, then it belongs to you. The first property rights concocted in the US were developed by people who stole land and erected laws that supported their claim to it. So, it's not actually that unbelievable that they would think this way, though it is disgustingly entitled and immoral.
"The first property rights concocted in the US were developed by people who stole land and erected laws that supported their claim to it." This really is the crux of the matter.
When we visited Puerto Vallarta three years ago, I kept telling my husband it’s interesting these US tourists who hate Mexicans come to Mexico to vacation. He said it’s because they’re cheap and want to be served. We saw some hideous behaviors from you guessed it, white people from the South. Texas especially had the biggest offenders. I will never forget this group of younger people from Texas being so rude to the servers and cutting lines to get their food at a buffet. I yelled don’t mind us, but they clearly did not care. We also briefly talked to an older white man from Arizona who was clearly in Mexico to meet with his girlfriend who was very quiet and subservient. She was native to Mexico and came from a rural area, so clearly this was some 90 Day Fiance level stuff going on. He made a comment about how California, which is where we are from is super expensive and high taxes. I forgot what my husband said, but the guy did not like it and left us alone. Absolutely gross behavior and embarrassing to say the least about these ugly Americans. They’re on vacation and still are angry! I don’t get it.
YESSSS! You nailed it 100%. You see how my husband is laughing in that photo? It's because of how ridiculous it was for that table of people, presumably on vacation, were angry at our presence. Mind you, we were quietly working at our computers. It's an entire culture at this point - to be angry and entitled, yet insist everyone treat you with kid gloves.
Ugh…sigh…sounds like the Florida assholes who live on A1A. People like her are why Americans are hated. We were told foreigners are not allowed to own land near beaches in Mexico. Hopefully the authorities hold her accountable. Karens are gonna Karen.
I would be curious to see how many of these "ugly Americans" are boomers who are on their way out anyway. I think there is a huge disparity between the old and the new young Americans. Both have their own problems, but I do not foresee people being as rude as they have been in the past. The new generation of travelers, I think, will lean more into the "stupid" category rather than "ugly".
I hope you're right. Though one incident comes to mind where a family from Florida (I heard them talk about it) were literally encouraging their kids to be obnoxious.
Exactly. In some ways, tourism is a modern form of colonialism. This is why when I decided to provide consulting and advice for people wanting to leave the US, I put out a LOT of content (including on the web page) about Conscientious Emigration, specifically. I have no interest in helping to facilitate that export.
That’s exactly the problem. Dependency = subjugation. It’s why I will only work with people who want to emigrate conscientiously, and why our ultimate goal is to facilitate an influx of funds to support conservation-based (not ecotourism-based) career and business opportunities. We can only do our small part.
I have ideas. They may seem harsh, but it makes people comply. Unfortunately most learn from pain. Singapore has strict rules-no gum chewing, no smoking, spitting, littering or jaywalking. Drinking is highly discouraged, as bars close at 10:30pm. Also with Malaysia being Muslim majority, it keeps the bad people out. Malaysia has sharia law which keeps these aholes at Bay.
Phew, wow. I wonder if there is something in between...though I'm all on board with no littering, spitting, jaywalking. I have a feeling that Mexico is going to become way less friendly in the coming years, based on the way that our new President, Sheinbaum, has reacted to the US nonsense.
I would also warn women, especially Asian women about these passport bros and sex tourists as there are dangers of these angry white men. I had a couple of confrontations and it was scary, but I stood my ground. They are mad at feminism and think women from other countries are submissive and won’t talk back.
OMG YES!! That is a really great point. Once when I took the ferry over to the mainland for an appointment, there was a VERY creepy white guy standing behind me in line. He complimented my earrings (fine), but then kept trying to come closer and closer to me until I gave him a very distinct glare. On the ferry, I watched as he tried to engage another young woman (a Mexican woman), and she ultimately put in her headphones. He was definitely trolling. I know it happens globally, and I also think a lot of women are hip to it now. But yeah, with the people now "leading" the US, I suspect this will become even more and more common.
As a “boomer” who likes to travel, I see more bad behavior from people younger than me more often than not. It wasn’t a bunch of cane carrying white hairs who were splashing around in the ancient fountains in Italy this past summer. I think the “Americans” described in this article fits all ages. BTW I have a few more things on my personal list of never do that outlined here. I travel with respect for the land, ocean and the inhabitants of the area that I visit.
1000% agree!! The bad behavior crosses all identity categories, including age - though I do find most of the disapproving stares like those at the table in the photo tend to be senior citizens. But I have seen families, teens, etc. doing all of this (and more). And yes, there are definitely more things -- desecrating monuments would definitely be one. Thanks for pointing this out, and feel free to add other advice (or write up your own article and tag me!)
What bothers me most about this thread is the statement “that these "ugly Americans" are boomers who are on their way out anyway “ apparently goes unnoticed, and therefore is considered acceptable. What if instead of targeting people born between the years of 1946 to 1964 this person wrote a similar comment about - fill in the blank race, and - fill in the rest with something else rude or derogatory? Bad behavior is not limited or dominated by age, race, religion or gender.
You have a fair point. As I said in the article, these behaviors cross identity lines; I have seen them from all types of people coming from the US.
This particular set of people in the photo are obviously older. In my personal experience, the most blatantly hostile behavior toward us that carries racist connotations does tend to come from the older demographic.
The people who were around when our marriage was illegal. Who would regard my daughter are less-than. Who protested integration virulently.
Statistically speaking, people from that generation-especially white men- disproportionately vote for fascism, racism, xenophobia via MAGA and the GOP.
You can't ignore these facts.
Of course, there are people (like several of my older family members) who are progressive and conscientious. But they are the minority.
Also, if this was said about a minority or marginalized group, then yes, it would be considered more offensive because racist, sexist, etc harmful stereotypes are already systemically embedded and their human rights are quite literally under attack. By contrast, senior citizens are grossly overrepresented in Congress and have relative power, in general. It's comparing apples and oranges.
All of this said, I don't believe anything in this article will "die out" with any generation. It's proven that USers tend to get more "conservative" with age, and now, conservative is synonymous with fascist. Fascists are not known for conscientious behavior.
I understand your feeling of being offended. If you're an exception to the norm, rejoice in that truth.
I think we are in violent agreement! I read your article because I was curious to know if there were behaviors I should be aware of that I wasn’t already. I found nothing that you wrote offensive personally. As I mentioned, I enjoy traveling, respectfully. I love the Mark Twain quote “travel is fatal to prejudice “ and would love to believe that is true. But, as you pointed out, those bad behaviors are a form of prejudice and elitism. I abhor that.
I heard a line in a show I watched recently, it was something to the effect of “when a person gets a coin in their pocket they think it entitles them“. I think that is what is behind the behaviors you outlined. Elitism from all ages, races, and religions. And, yes, I understand that many are older white dickheads. They have more time to travel….
I have gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and non-white friends whom I love dearly and am well aware of how they are treated. They have to consider how they will be treated in everyday situations. It breaks my heart. It also frustrates and breaks the heart of the old white guy that I’m married to.
I sometimes forget that I live in a deep blue state and am surrounded by likeminded friends. I have woven a cocoon around us, but it has thin walls. I’m terrified of what the MAGA regime will destroy.
I’m not wealthy. I worry about outliving my funds and being a burden to my children.
My first mortgage was at 19% interest. Although the house was MUCH less expensive than today’s insane prices, it was commiserate with my income (really stressed it) at the time. It scares (pisses me off) that the housing situation is what it is. I still have 2 children that can’t afford to buy their own house and I can’t afford to give them a down payment.
I’m educated and informed. I did not vote for MAGA. I will not rejoice when they implode. The level of destruction they will cause terrifies me. We must stand strong and hope for the best. Two years until the midterms. But that may still leave us with an old regime.
I tried to inform others. I failed. They won. I’m scared.
I know the likes of whom you write about. I was victim to their sexual harassment in the 80s and 90s. Fortunately I worked in a predominantly female industry (with a very low glass ceiling at the time), I told them what was happening and they dealt with it promptly. Two of these stupid white guys cried when they apologized to me. Another one was fired.
In the 90s I was paid $60k less than my male peers. Sixty thousand! My female boss corrected that, but we women always lagged behind the men when it comes to salary. I was never again compensated fairly.
I’m well aware of the fact that my circumstances were not the norm, and I’m grateful.
In the 80s it was still legal in many states for a man to beat and rape his wife. I lived in one of those state when I was kidnapped, beaten and raped by my then husband.
I support local nonprofit organizations dedicated to human rights. Was board chairwoman of one for 6 years. It’s disgusting how little these organizations get in support as compared to the arts, sports, etc. I still give.
I’m not the only, die-hard, tree hugging, earth loving, humanitarian boomer. There are more of us out here. Not as many as we need, I understand that I’m a minority. But that boomer comment (in the thread, not your article) made me feel threatened, disrespected, and marginalized. It’s one of the many reasons I left Facebook and instagram. It’s turning me off on Substack.
I get that there are a lot of older white people who give us a bad rap. I only ask that the Substack community consider the minority of us, who are here to be informed, not kicked.
BTW Musk and Bezos are not boomers.
Sorry for the rant. I feel threatened every day. Don’t need that feeling here.
On a final note. I would LOVE to see the old people out of political power and the Supreme Court (same, but different). We need more progressive leaders. I hope I live to see it.
I would encourage you to talk to people whom have been to Bali recently. While we did not go diving there, it was over crowded from over-tourism and poor infrastructure. Find out the best time of year to visit.
Good to know, thank you. Right now, travel is not in the cards anyway (2023-24 were very difficult financially). But I definitely will when the time comes.
It will happen when the time is right. Plan it out properly and plan to stay at least a month as the plane ride is long and grueling. My husband and I arrived from Malaysia to our new place in South Florida a month ago to regroup and will decide what to do next in the coming months. We are scheduled to go diving in the Keys next week, so looking forward to that.
"Ugly American" applies North of the US border, too. In spades. Elsewhere in the World as well, masquerading as Canadians (though these are more likely to be the ones more self-aware of the "Ugly" image, and thus better-behaved)
True. I have also seen some outrageously entitled behavior from people who I believe were from the UK. But man...the worst I've seen have (unsurprisingly) been from the US South. I mean, stealing locals' birthday cake, splashing people by the cenote, on and on and on.
Yep. I once confronted a woman in the grocery store who was flat out berating the very young, very timid clerk (LOUDLY), for not cleaning the belt as much as she wanted it cleaned. She actually tried to come at me like she was going to do something (older, large, white woman) until she saw I was not going to back down. But so many jobs are dependent on tourism, that people from the US often get away with this behavior.
Your list is the travel guide none of us knew we needed. The sunscreen-in-coral bit hit me hardest. Nothing says nature lover like smothering it with SPF death cream. Please tell me the follow-up article includes a self-help guide for expats who can’t tip without causing a scene... consider it public service
YES, the sunscreen information is RIGHT THERE for everyone to see, and yet, they refuse to just put on a damn shirt. I have so many stories of flagrant - almost aggressive - obnoxious behavior. Do say more about "can't tip without causing a scene"?? I have yet to witness this particular brand of meltdown. Are they mad about the amount they're expected to tip, or wanting to draw attention to being good tippers? I've definitely seen ridiculously long debates on "expat" forums about how much to tip, but never seen it play out in real life (perhaps because we rarely are around people from the US anymore, by design).
....And, if you really, truly, wholeheartedly want to LEAVE the U.S. behind and become a member of another culture, apply for citizenship in your new home.
DEFINITELY! Though I do recommend spending a couple years in a place as a legal resident to make sure it's right for you before jumping through those hoops. I look forward to becoming eligible!
Love all of what you've shared here. The hypocrisy of the "Ugly American" is truly incredulous. This needs adressing over and over again. Although we know it's likely it may not change much, but I think the more this message is put out there the more others who are open to it will start to speak out on it as well.
Oh how amazing that would be if everyone just came to their senses and started standing up for what is right rather than what is "cool" or "acceptable" for the very "Ugly American."
As I lay here on a beach chair in Aruba and place my drink order, the ironic timing of this article hits home. My wife and I have been fortunate to do a modest amount of international travel and have certainly seen “ugly Americans”. At times, it makes us embarrassed to be US citizens. Years ago we started saying we were from Canada while in Italy. Just be nice! It is amazing how grateful the local people are if you treat them with respect and kindness.
I so appreciate you all. So, how can we do better? https://open.substack.com/pub/theconscientiousemigrant/p/what-is-a-conscientious-emigrant?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1h269a
New post! https://substack.com/profile/89121070-elizabeth-silleck-la-rue/note/c-83792598
How are you all feeling about the upcoming anniversary of Jan 6? We plan to release something useful and helpful for folks thinking about/planning to leave the US, because I think it will be a day that people need hope and focus. But for today, I wanted to share with you all the story that was one of several turning points for us in deciding to move. https://substack.com/@elizabethsillecklarue/note/c-84228329
Hot off the presses: "Three Things You MUST Do if You Want to Emigrate from the US: Real Talk Most "Expat" Writers Won't Mention: https://open.substack.com/pub/theconscientiousemigrant/p/three-things-you-must-do-if-you-want?r=1h269a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
If you all want to read a much more personal, more specific account of the only really seriously racist encounter we have had since moving to Mexico, here it is. The Ugly Americans in this story were next level. https://open.substack.com/pub/starvingjunglefever/p/turning-hammocks-into-nooses?r=1h269a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
The Substack algorithm served your piece up to me, and I gobbled it right up, subscribed right away. I have lived in Ecuador and Colombia with my wife (who is Colombian), and thank goodness those two countries are still off the beaten vacation path of the Ugly American Touron. Tourons were hardly ever encountered during my day-to-day there because the city where we own a modest apartment is smallish and nothing particularly unique or special apart from the fact that it is 100% Colombian surrounded by beautiful mountains, deep forest, and the best coffee in the world. And I love that it’s my secret along with the 300,000 parceros who live there.
If I were to self-judge, I feel like I followed your list pretty well: I speak Spanish (523-day streak on Duolingo!), I tip well (can always tip more!), I chat with and get to know my neighbors and shopkeepers, read the signs, etc.
Because I was raised in Arizona, we frequently traveled to Mexico, and wooo-boy, there were some rowdy, entitled, and obnoxious gringos vacationing there. I may have learned unconsciously from a young age to not be an ass while in someone else’s house/country. It’s served me well in my years abroad.
Thanks so much for reading, restacking and subscribing! It sounds like you are doing great. It seems to me everyone would be happier and healthier if they were willing to approach new environments with humility, civility, cooperation, courtesy. It's appalling to see people go out of their way to do the exact opposite. Especially here, where the culture is one of politeness (a smile and "buenos días" is almost universally customary here) and patience. Everyone is prone to bad days, of course, and there are jerks everywhere, but this is a pattern that can't be ignored.
“Touron” - thank you for adding a new slang term to my dictionary! Had to look it up, but it’s a great description of some people that I’ve met on my travels.
Here's one for the record book: https://theconscientiousemigrant.substack.com/p/this-ugly-american-takes-the-cake?r=1h269a
You'll be aghast at this one: https://theconscientiousemigrant.substack.com/p/this-ugly-american-takes-the-cake?r=1h269a
Yeesh. I aspire to be the opposite. She’s an evangelical Karen Karen-ing where she and her Kevin have no right to do so. Elizabeth, stories like this make me cringe so deeply inside, and I know that I am the choir who reads your writing, but I wish that the Karens and Kevins of the world can just watch the sun set over the horizon with their beverage in hand, and just feel grateful for the sunset and their beverage. That is my wish for the rottenness exhibited by la estadounidense in the piece.
These same principles can be useful applied to a simple holiday in Hawaii. Because Hawaiians have their own culture.
Example: Asking for directions.
Native Hawaiians do not participate in the covert understanding that "you and I have no connection, but a brief sentence about directions is all that is necessary between us." To ask efficiently and directly, like they are a Google search, is to treat them like a vending machine. It causes immediate offence, and they may not want to talk to you at all.
Instead try this:
1. "Aloha"... pause, and wait for them to respond "Aloha"... now you have respected the being within them, they are becoming available.
2. "May I ask you a question / for directions?" ... pause... wait for them to say "yes, sure".
3. Now the help window is open, and they will gladly help you. Feels nice.
Thank you for this! This is actually a nice way to approach anyone, rather than just blurting out what you need.
It's not hard to be respectful. It's not hard to be nice. It's not hard to be compassionate. Except for some people it is.
Yes, for some people it is. And we all have our bad days. I am not without sympathy about people being frustrated with bureaucracy, discomfort, etc. But that is different than just full out entitled and abusive. And it's definitely different than going out of your way to be intentionally hostile to people minding their own business.
Exactly!
Like this specimen: https://theconscientiousemigrant.substack.com/p/this-ugly-american-takes-the-cake?r=1h269a
Having spent a lot of time in Costa Rica, I feel this post in my bones. Now that I live in Ireland, even today I wanted to post in a Facebook group for expats in Ireland: THEIR COUNTRY, THEIR RULES.
You won't believe this one: https://theconscientiousemigrant.substack.com/p/this-ugly-american-takes-the-cake?r=1h269a
Alas, I can. I wrote this bit from Prozac Monologues in 2006, after a week in Costa Rica:
The person who sold the golf carts did tell the buyers the carts are not street legal. But I heard the Americans down at the El Bohio puffing indignant because the police confiscated a cart parked in front of the El Bohio and impounded it at the police station across the street where the Americans could see it and drink more beer and get mad all over again. They say the government will have to change the law to make the golf carts street legal, because there are so many of them.
Notice the logic, “There are so many of them.” So many illegal golf carts the government will have to make them legal? That’s not the way it works in America.
No, “so many of them” must refer to the Americans, not the golf carts. Once you get “so many” Americans in a place, in particular white middle-class Americans who are not used to being the targets of law enforcement, not that anybody besides white middle-class Americans is breaking this particular law, everybody else, even the citizens of the country concerned, will simply have to change to suit the Americans’ desires.
Yep. It's perverse logic. This may seem like a total tangent, but not really. I used to work in fisheries conservation. Federal fisheries laws in the US are largely under the Dept of Commerce (rather than USFWS) which tells you something right there. But the point that really baffled me when I started was that basically, historical overfishing was and is actually rewarded in this way. For example, when "allocating" portions of fish to individual operations, the historical catch became the threshold for what they would get going forward. In other words, the most harmful actors were entitled to more extraction, even when designing systems and regulations meant to reduce the overfishing. The epitome of "ask for forgiveness, not permission."
The point being, this backwards logic exists within some US "property rights" - take it, then it belongs to you. The first property rights concocted in the US were developed by people who stole land and erected laws that supported their claim to it. So, it's not actually that unbelievable that they would think this way, though it is disgustingly entitled and immoral.
"The first property rights concocted in the US were developed by people who stole land and erected laws that supported their claim to it." This really is the crux of the matter.
When we visited Puerto Vallarta three years ago, I kept telling my husband it’s interesting these US tourists who hate Mexicans come to Mexico to vacation. He said it’s because they’re cheap and want to be served. We saw some hideous behaviors from you guessed it, white people from the South. Texas especially had the biggest offenders. I will never forget this group of younger people from Texas being so rude to the servers and cutting lines to get their food at a buffet. I yelled don’t mind us, but they clearly did not care. We also briefly talked to an older white man from Arizona who was clearly in Mexico to meet with his girlfriend who was very quiet and subservient. She was native to Mexico and came from a rural area, so clearly this was some 90 Day Fiance level stuff going on. He made a comment about how California, which is where we are from is super expensive and high taxes. I forgot what my husband said, but the guy did not like it and left us alone. Absolutely gross behavior and embarrassing to say the least about these ugly Americans. They’re on vacation and still are angry! I don’t get it.
YESSSS! You nailed it 100%. You see how my husband is laughing in that photo? It's because of how ridiculous it was for that table of people, presumably on vacation, were angry at our presence. Mind you, we were quietly working at our computers. It's an entire culture at this point - to be angry and entitled, yet insist everyone treat you with kid gloves.
It’s so beyond all you can do is laugh! Great capture of that moment.
Girl. I can't even: https://theconscientiousemigrant.substack.com/p/this-ugly-american-takes-the-cake?r=1h269a
Ugh…sigh…sounds like the Florida assholes who live on A1A. People like her are why Americans are hated. We were told foreigners are not allowed to own land near beaches in Mexico. Hopefully the authorities hold her accountable. Karens are gonna Karen.
That's correct, but there are workarounds via trusts and such. Either way, her behavior is so abhorrent.
The entitlement is mind-boggling. They demand people serve them. So embarrassing.
Yep. She's lucky I wasn't there lol.
Right? Lol.
I would be curious to see how many of these "ugly Americans" are boomers who are on their way out anyway. I think there is a huge disparity between the old and the new young Americans. Both have their own problems, but I do not foresee people being as rude as they have been in the past. The new generation of travelers, I think, will lean more into the "stupid" category rather than "ugly".
I hope you're right. Though one incident comes to mind where a family from Florida (I heard them talk about it) were literally encouraging their kids to be obnoxious.
That's abysmal parenting.
Yup. But if you saw this family, you wouldn’t be surprised.
Happens all too often, especially in countries with mostly people of color. That’s teaching hate, imo.
Exactly. In some ways, tourism is a modern form of colonialism. This is why when I decided to provide consulting and advice for people wanting to leave the US, I put out a LOT of content (including on the web page) about Conscientious Emigration, specifically. I have no interest in helping to facilitate that export.
I wonder what would be the proper remedy for this since most of the countries that are well travelled rely on the tourism to support their economy.
That’s exactly the problem. Dependency = subjugation. It’s why I will only work with people who want to emigrate conscientiously, and why our ultimate goal is to facilitate an influx of funds to support conservation-based (not ecotourism-based) career and business opportunities. We can only do our small part.
I have ideas. They may seem harsh, but it makes people comply. Unfortunately most learn from pain. Singapore has strict rules-no gum chewing, no smoking, spitting, littering or jaywalking. Drinking is highly discouraged, as bars close at 10:30pm. Also with Malaysia being Muslim majority, it keeps the bad people out. Malaysia has sharia law which keeps these aholes at Bay.
Phew, wow. I wonder if there is something in between...though I'm all on board with no littering, spitting, jaywalking. I have a feeling that Mexico is going to become way less friendly in the coming years, based on the way that our new President, Sheinbaum, has reacted to the US nonsense.
I would also warn women, especially Asian women about these passport bros and sex tourists as there are dangers of these angry white men. I had a couple of confrontations and it was scary, but I stood my ground. They are mad at feminism and think women from other countries are submissive and won’t talk back.
OMG YES!! That is a really great point. Once when I took the ferry over to the mainland for an appointment, there was a VERY creepy white guy standing behind me in line. He complimented my earrings (fine), but then kept trying to come closer and closer to me until I gave him a very distinct glare. On the ferry, I watched as he tried to engage another young woman (a Mexican woman), and she ultimately put in her headphones. He was definitely trolling. I know it happens globally, and I also think a lot of women are hip to it now. But yeah, with the people now "leading" the US, I suspect this will become even more and more common.
Glad both of you were ok, but how scary and annoying! I am over these dude bros. Lol.
As a “boomer” who likes to travel, I see more bad behavior from people younger than me more often than not. It wasn’t a bunch of cane carrying white hairs who were splashing around in the ancient fountains in Italy this past summer. I think the “Americans” described in this article fits all ages. BTW I have a few more things on my personal list of never do that outlined here. I travel with respect for the land, ocean and the inhabitants of the area that I visit.
1000% agree!! The bad behavior crosses all identity categories, including age - though I do find most of the disapproving stares like those at the table in the photo tend to be senior citizens. But I have seen families, teens, etc. doing all of this (and more). And yes, there are definitely more things -- desecrating monuments would definitely be one. Thanks for pointing this out, and feel free to add other advice (or write up your own article and tag me!)
What bothers me most about this thread is the statement “that these "ugly Americans" are boomers who are on their way out anyway “ apparently goes unnoticed, and therefore is considered acceptable. What if instead of targeting people born between the years of 1946 to 1964 this person wrote a similar comment about - fill in the blank race, and - fill in the rest with something else rude or derogatory? Bad behavior is not limited or dominated by age, race, religion or gender.
You have a fair point. As I said in the article, these behaviors cross identity lines; I have seen them from all types of people coming from the US.
This particular set of people in the photo are obviously older. In my personal experience, the most blatantly hostile behavior toward us that carries racist connotations does tend to come from the older demographic.
The people who were around when our marriage was illegal. Who would regard my daughter are less-than. Who protested integration virulently.
Statistically speaking, people from that generation-especially white men- disproportionately vote for fascism, racism, xenophobia via MAGA and the GOP.
You can't ignore these facts.
Of course, there are people (like several of my older family members) who are progressive and conscientious. But they are the minority.
Also, if this was said about a minority or marginalized group, then yes, it would be considered more offensive because racist, sexist, etc harmful stereotypes are already systemically embedded and their human rights are quite literally under attack. By contrast, senior citizens are grossly overrepresented in Congress and have relative power, in general. It's comparing apples and oranges.
All of this said, I don't believe anything in this article will "die out" with any generation. It's proven that USers tend to get more "conservative" with age, and now, conservative is synonymous with fascist. Fascists are not known for conscientious behavior.
I understand your feeling of being offended. If you're an exception to the norm, rejoice in that truth.
I think we are in violent agreement! I read your article because I was curious to know if there were behaviors I should be aware of that I wasn’t already. I found nothing that you wrote offensive personally. As I mentioned, I enjoy traveling, respectfully. I love the Mark Twain quote “travel is fatal to prejudice “ and would love to believe that is true. But, as you pointed out, those bad behaviors are a form of prejudice and elitism. I abhor that.
I heard a line in a show I watched recently, it was something to the effect of “when a person gets a coin in their pocket they think it entitles them“. I think that is what is behind the behaviors you outlined. Elitism from all ages, races, and religions. And, yes, I understand that many are older white dickheads. They have more time to travel….
I have gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and non-white friends whom I love dearly and am well aware of how they are treated. They have to consider how they will be treated in everyday situations. It breaks my heart. It also frustrates and breaks the heart of the old white guy that I’m married to.
I sometimes forget that I live in a deep blue state and am surrounded by likeminded friends. I have woven a cocoon around us, but it has thin walls. I’m terrified of what the MAGA regime will destroy.
I’m not wealthy. I worry about outliving my funds and being a burden to my children.
My first mortgage was at 19% interest. Although the house was MUCH less expensive than today’s insane prices, it was commiserate with my income (really stressed it) at the time. It scares (pisses me off) that the housing situation is what it is. I still have 2 children that can’t afford to buy their own house and I can’t afford to give them a down payment.
I’m educated and informed. I did not vote for MAGA. I will not rejoice when they implode. The level of destruction they will cause terrifies me. We must stand strong and hope for the best. Two years until the midterms. But that may still leave us with an old regime.
I tried to inform others. I failed. They won. I’m scared.
I know the likes of whom you write about. I was victim to their sexual harassment in the 80s and 90s. Fortunately I worked in a predominantly female industry (with a very low glass ceiling at the time), I told them what was happening and they dealt with it promptly. Two of these stupid white guys cried when they apologized to me. Another one was fired.
In the 90s I was paid $60k less than my male peers. Sixty thousand! My female boss corrected that, but we women always lagged behind the men when it comes to salary. I was never again compensated fairly.
I’m well aware of the fact that my circumstances were not the norm, and I’m grateful.
In the 80s it was still legal in many states for a man to beat and rape his wife. I lived in one of those state when I was kidnapped, beaten and raped by my then husband.
I support local nonprofit organizations dedicated to human rights. Was board chairwoman of one for 6 years. It’s disgusting how little these organizations get in support as compared to the arts, sports, etc. I still give.
I’m not the only, die-hard, tree hugging, earth loving, humanitarian boomer. There are more of us out here. Not as many as we need, I understand that I’m a minority. But that boomer comment (in the thread, not your article) made me feel threatened, disrespected, and marginalized. It’s one of the many reasons I left Facebook and instagram. It’s turning me off on Substack.
I get that there are a lot of older white people who give us a bad rap. I only ask that the Substack community consider the minority of us, who are here to be informed, not kicked.
BTW Musk and Bezos are not boomers.
Sorry for the rant. I feel threatened every day. Don’t need that feeling here.
On a final note. I would LOVE to see the old people out of political power and the Supreme Court (same, but different). We need more progressive leaders. I hope I live to see it.
With respect and integrity.
Thanks for sharing this. I hear you.
Case in point: https://theconscientiousemigrant.substack.com/p/this-ugly-american-takes-the-cake?r=1h269a
I would encourage you to talk to people whom have been to Bali recently. While we did not go diving there, it was over crowded from over-tourism and poor infrastructure. Find out the best time of year to visit.
Good to know, thank you. Right now, travel is not in the cards anyway (2023-24 were very difficult financially). But I definitely will when the time comes.
Thank you! Will do.
It will happen when the time is right. Plan it out properly and plan to stay at least a month as the plane ride is long and grueling. My husband and I arrived from Malaysia to our new place in South Florida a month ago to regroup and will decide what to do next in the coming months. We are scheduled to go diving in the Keys next week, so looking forward to that.
Oh nice!! Since you're a diver, check out our YouTube page, where we post about our coral restoration work and all the awesome animal life we observe. https://youtube.com/@wavesandwifi?si=1wW7mJ1UszCX2knX
"Ugly American" applies North of the US border, too. In spades. Elsewhere in the World as well, masquerading as Canadians (though these are more likely to be the ones more self-aware of the "Ugly" image, and thus better-behaved)
True. I have also seen some outrageously entitled behavior from people who I believe were from the UK. But man...the worst I've seen have (unsurprisingly) been from the US South. I mean, stealing locals' birthday cake, splashing people by the cenote, on and on and on.
How awful. They should be jailed for that behavior. I lived in Malaysia for a year and that ish would not fly at all.
Yep. I once confronted a woman in the grocery store who was flat out berating the very young, very timid clerk (LOUDLY), for not cleaning the belt as much as she wanted it cleaned. She actually tried to come at me like she was going to do something (older, large, white woman) until she saw I was not going to back down. But so many jobs are dependent on tourism, that people from the US often get away with this behavior.
Your list is the travel guide none of us knew we needed. The sunscreen-in-coral bit hit me hardest. Nothing says nature lover like smothering it with SPF death cream. Please tell me the follow-up article includes a self-help guide for expats who can’t tip without causing a scene... consider it public service
YES, the sunscreen information is RIGHT THERE for everyone to see, and yet, they refuse to just put on a damn shirt. I have so many stories of flagrant - almost aggressive - obnoxious behavior. Do say more about "can't tip without causing a scene"?? I have yet to witness this particular brand of meltdown. Are they mad about the amount they're expected to tip, or wanting to draw attention to being good tippers? I've definitely seen ridiculously long debates on "expat" forums about how much to tip, but never seen it play out in real life (perhaps because we rarely are around people from the US anymore, by design).
Check out this one: https://theconscientiousemigrant.substack.com/p/this-ugly-american-takes-the-cake?r=1h269a
....And, if you really, truly, wholeheartedly want to LEAVE the U.S. behind and become a member of another culture, apply for citizenship in your new home.
DEFINITELY! Though I do recommend spending a couple years in a place as a legal resident to make sure it's right for you before jumping through those hoops. I look forward to becoming eligible!
Love all of what you've shared here. The hypocrisy of the "Ugly American" is truly incredulous. This needs adressing over and over again. Although we know it's likely it may not change much, but I think the more this message is put out there the more others who are open to it will start to speak out on it as well.
The latest travesty: https://theconscientiousemigrant.substack.com/p/this-ugly-american-takes-the-cake?r=1h269a
This is just one of a million stories like this. Most of them go under the radar. So sad. Can't imagine being such an angry hater.
That's my hope, and that there will be a cultural shift against tolerance. Thank you for reading and commenting!
Oh how amazing that would be if everyone just came to their senses and started standing up for what is right rather than what is "cool" or "acceptable" for the very "Ugly American."
Well stated. I have to say, from what I've witnessed, people who behave like this don't even have a sense of what's right.
Yes so true. I was being a wishful thinker, but you are right. They are clueless.
As I lay here on a beach chair in Aruba and place my drink order, the ironic timing of this article hits home. My wife and I have been fortunate to do a modest amount of international travel and have certainly seen “ugly Americans”. At times, it makes us embarrassed to be US citizens. Years ago we started saying we were from Canada while in Italy. Just be nice! It is amazing how grateful the local people are if you treat them with respect and kindness.
This is horribly embarrassing: https://theconscientiousemigrant.substack.com/p/this-ugly-american-takes-the-cake?r=1h269a
Embarrassed - yes! And yes, re treating people with respect and kindness…EVEN when things aren’t going your way. Enjoy your vacation!!!